1 00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:06,705 Kate, this lasagna looks really great! 2 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:10,075 Very well worth the interminable wait. 3 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:14,913 I asked you twice to stop doing that. 4 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:18,550 What? We're just having a pre-dinner chat. 5 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,320 You know what I mean. 6 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:24,623 Rhyming everything I say. 7 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,961 No problem, Willie, have it your way. 8 00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:30,295 Kate! 9 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,131 Kate, he's doing it again. 10 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,432 What? 11 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,335 He's rhyming the last word of everything I say. 12 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,403 Go ahead, ALF. 13 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,238 He's been doing it all day. 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,773 Now, he's got me doing it. 15 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,184 [door opens] 16 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,685 What a creep. 17 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,754 I never want to see him again. 18 00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,526 I guess Lynn and her boyfriend had a fight. 19 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:03,062 We should go see if she's alright. 20 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:06,932 Oh, sure, when Kate makes a rhyme it's no big deal. 21 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,570 Just for that, I'm eating your meal. 22 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,240 [theme music] 23 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,272 [music continues] 24 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,035 Okay, dad, your turn. 25 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,070 Okay.. 26 00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,742 Science or sports? 27 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,044 He'll take science. 28 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:26,945 Do you mind? 29 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,681 I can pick my own category. 30 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,917 Who won the Super Bowl last year? 31 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,288 I'll take science. 32 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,792 What is the primary element of the planet Jupiter? 33 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,561 Oh, it's easy. Hydrogen. 34 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:43,762 Eh! You're wrong! 35 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,197 It's buttermilk. 36 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,234 Willie's right. 37 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,736 It's hydrogen. 38 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,338 Then why do they call it the Dairy Planet? 39 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,542 Who calls it the Dairy Planet? 40 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,743 Jupitonians. 41 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,078 It's on their license plates. 42 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,382 Mom, it's your turn. 43 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,784 Okay. 44 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,052 Entertainment. 45 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:10,289 Okay, uh, what singing phenomenon-- 46 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,824 Eh! Florence Henderson. 47 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,093 ALF, it's not your turn. 48 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,696 The answer's not Florence Henderson. 49 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,798 It's Shirley Jones. 50 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,634 Oh, like there's really a difference. 51 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,407 Mail's here. 52 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,342 Not that it matters. 53 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,744 Oh, come and join us, honey. 54 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,279 Take ALF's place. 55 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,050 I don't really feel like it. 56 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:41,520 I'll be in my room. Not that it matters. 57 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,823 Gee, what a downer. 58 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,960 It's only been a week since she broke up with L-Lloyd. 59 00:03:47,962 --> 00:03:52,364 I never understood, why he pronounced both the Ls. 60 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:56,134 Because he was a l-lox. 61 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,571 You know, it takes a little time to get over a break-up. 62 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,839 I'm gonna go check on her. 63 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,475 Well, see you l-later. 64 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:06,311 ALF, there's a book here for you. 65 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,913 You ordered a book? 66 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,348 Don't worry, Wilco. 67 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,549 It was free. 68 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,118 For joining the Book-of-the-Month Club. 69 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,687 You joined the Book-of-the-Month Club? 70 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,056 Well, technically, you did. 71 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:21,727 Fortunately, they didn't run a credit check. 72 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,796 "Shelley Winters' Guide to True Love?" 73 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,365 We're sending it back. 74 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,666 It's not for me. 75 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,635 It's to help Lynn. 76 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,371 Oh-ho. This'll be a great help. 77 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,739 "Chapter One. 78 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,408 Love is like a pizza." 79 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,777 Brilliant! 80 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,746 "Love is like a pizza. 81 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,649 "Sometimes it's cold and flat 82 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,618 "sometimes it's hot and gooey. 83 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,454 "The secret is to take it a slice at a time 84 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,090 and hold the anchovies." 85 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,359 ALF, I don't wanna talk about love.. 86 00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,395 ...or pizza. 87 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,763 Well, according to Shelley 88 00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,499 you're wallowing in the muck of self-pity. 89 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,700 She says you'll feel better 90 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,403 if you confide in a close friend. 91 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,239 So come on, confide. 92 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,507 Alright. 93 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,611 L-Lloyd wants to go out with other girls. 94 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,714 Ugh. There's that name again. 95 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,083 Do you want me to confide or not? 96 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,685 Sorry. 97 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,286 L-Lloyd. 98 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,457 We were so perfect for each other. 99 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,426 We were gonna get married at the planetarium. 100 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,329 He was even gonna name a comet after me. 101 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,531 What was he gonna name it? L-Lynn? 102 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,002 Last time, I promise. 103 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,471 [knock on door] 104 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,206 She wants to be alone! 105 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,041 [door opens] 106 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,242 I just dropped in to say goodnight 107 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,411 and see if you need anything. 108 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,245 No thanks, mom. 109 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,048 Frozen yogurt for me, thanks. 110 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,783 ALF, I was asking Lynn. 111 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:55,153 From that place at the mall, if you're going that way. 112 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,126 Drive carefully. 113 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,995 I'll never love anyone again. 114 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:08,100 Oh, sure. Let's get back to your problem. 115 00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:11,136 ALF, you're the one who wanted me to talk about it. 116 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,738 Alright. 117 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,575 Aren't there any other fellas you'd like to date? 118 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,510 Well.. 119 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,479 ...there is this one guy.. 120 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,814 But that doesn't mean he'd wanna go out with me. 121 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,249 Well, who is it? 122 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,218 His name is Danny Duckworth. 123 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,520 He's on the baseball team. 124 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,554 Let's see.. 125 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,059 Uh...here's his picture. 126 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,397 The dork holding the water bucket? 127 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,332 No, no, no, that's his cousin Donnie. 128 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,735 See, Danny's the one swinging the three bats. 129 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,504 So call him up. 130 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:48,707 I can't do that, he'd know I like him. 131 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,509 You don't want the boy you like 132 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,544 to know you like him? 133 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,013 - Right. - Makes sense. 134 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,481 You don't understand. 135 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,749 Oh, I understand. 136 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,019 Nobody on this planet ever says what they mean. 137 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,587 We say what we mean. 138 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,090 As long as the other person says it first. 139 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,897 Shelley, Shelley, it's up to you, babe. 140 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,866 Come on. Don't let me down. 141 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,302 Ah. "Chapter Two. 142 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,837 "Take action. 143 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,573 Ask a friend to fix you up." 144 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:24,042 Well, there you have it. 145 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,047 Yo, operator. 146 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,683 Do you have a listing for a Duckworth? 147 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,885 [instrumental music] 148 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:41,626 Why would he even try making banana coffee? 149 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:46,898 I don't think you even want...to know. 150 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,102 Hey, Willie, when's the last time 151 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,071 you changed the blades in this razor? 152 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,307 Oh, my-my razor is elec.. 153 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,309 [gasps] 154 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,146 Why were you shaving? 155 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:05,250 According to Shelley women like clean-shaven men. 156 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,953 Don't ever touch.. 157 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,189 ...anything that touches my face. 158 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,963 (Lynn) 'ALF?' 159 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,332 How could you do this to me? 160 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,634 I couldn't find my own roll-on. 161 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:24,703 Lynn, what's wrong? 162 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,605 I have got a date to go bowling 163 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,675 with Donnie Duckworth, the geekiest guy in school 164 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,011 thanks to my brother ALF. 165 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,045 Your brother? 166 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,180 That's what he told Donnie 167 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,115 when he called him on the phone. 168 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,183 You wanted me to. 169 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,885 I did not want you to! 170 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,087 Well, you said you liked the guy. 171 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,322 I said I liked Danny Duckworth. 172 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,025 You called Donnie, his cousin. 173 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,528 Danny, Donnie, Florence, Shirley. 174 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,730 I'm getting a headache! 175 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,832 Think I'll go lie down. 176 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,267 Well, hold it right there, bro. 177 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,102 I think you have one more phone call to make 178 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,937 to get this thing straightened out. 179 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,172 It's too late, mom. 180 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,141 Donnie has already bought us 181 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,844 matching bowling shirts. 182 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,612 That was my idea! 183 00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,714 I hope you like paisley. 184 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,219 [instrumental music] 185 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,489 Now, the secret to bowling 186 00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:22,093 or talequoits, as it's known in the civilized universe 187 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,995 is in the wrist action. 188 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,098 And in the ripeness of the melon. 189 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,338 Ugh! We don't bowl with cantaloupes. 190 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,807 Then, what do you bowl with? 191 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,076 Heavy plastic balls. 192 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,111 You're kidding. 193 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,747 Well, at least it's something edible. 194 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,982 [doorbell dings] 195 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,318 Oh, great. Donnie's here. 196 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,321 Now, remember, according to Shelley 197 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:53,592 dating is the best therapy for a failed romance. 198 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:57,128 That and chocolate. 199 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,497 Hi, you must be Donnie Duckworth. 200 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,765 - Come on in. - Thanks. 201 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,800 But I'm Danny Duckworth 202 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,835 I'm Donnie Duckworth's cousin. 203 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,704 Oh, it's nice to meet you. 204 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,672 Where's Donnie...Duckworth? 205 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,608 Hm, Danny? 206 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,743 Well, he got so nervous about this date 207 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,813 that he started pukin' his guts out. 208 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,414 Oh, that's not good. 209 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,116 Yeah, he had a date with a cheerleader once 210 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,852 nearly coughed up his spleen. 211 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,854 That's not good either. 212 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,623 Uh, Lynn? 213 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,728 Hi, I'm Mrs. Tanner, you must be...Donnie Duckworth? 214 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,730 No, no, I'm Danny Duckworth. See, Donnie couldn't come-- 215 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,332 Uh, yeah, it involves organ displacement, dear. 216 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,468 I'll-I'll fill you in later. 217 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:39,371 You know, I hope it's okay with Lynn that I came instead. 218 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:40,839 - Oh. - Oh, I'm sure she won't mind. 219 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,475 Oh, good. 220 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,877 Danny Duckworth. 221 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,612 Hiya, Lynn. 222 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,914 Donnie's sick, so I-I just came instead. 223 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:50,949 I hope that's okay. 224 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,884 Are you kidding? 225 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,453 I mean, I-I guess so. 226 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,155 He gave us these bowling shirts 227 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,790 but I-I don't really like bowling. 228 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,759 So I thought maybe we'd go to a drive-in. 229 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:01,793 Is that okay too? 230 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,295 That's fantastic! 231 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,465 I mean...that's fine. 232 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,769 The only snag is, uh, I don't have a car. 233 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:11,970 What happened to your van? 234 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,873 Oh, that's where Donnie vomited. 235 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,408 That's not good. 236 00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,282 ¶ Ay oh whey oh ¶ 237 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:28,053 ¶ Ay oh whey oh ¶ 238 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:32,657 ¶ Walk like an Egyptian ¶¶ 239 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,760 (Lynn) 'Bye! Thanks for letting us use the car.' 240 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,864 Hide like an Egyptian. 241 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,800 Well, this is it. 242 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,635 Uh, can I drive? 243 00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:46,137 - I think I'd better drive. - Oh, okay. 244 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,173 But when we get there, can we just change places 245 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,141 in case we see anybody we know? 246 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:53,044 - Sure. - Thanks. 247 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,546 Oh, great, we're going bowling 248 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,481 and I don't even have a cantaloupe. 249 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,186 [instrumental music] 250 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,793 You know, I'm sorry about this movie 251 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,962 it was supposed to be "Moonstruck," you know. 252 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,731 Oh, that's okay. 253 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:16,167 I've been dying to see "Death Wish 11." 254 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,638 Do-do you want some popcorn or.. 255 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,607 Oh, not right now. 256 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:25,143 Thanks. 257 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,079 (Danny) 'Nachos? How about some nachos?' 258 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,514 (Lynn) 'No, thanks.' 259 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,554 [clicking] 260 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,926 [gunfire] 261 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,562 [screams] What, it-it's just a flesh wound. 262 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,264 Hey, I thought that you wanted to be a doctor. 263 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,100 I do, but right now I-I want some popcorn. 264 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,268 Would you mind, I just, I suddenly got 265 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,403 this uncontrollable urge for popcorn. 266 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,239 Oh, sure. Sure. 267 00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,578 Do you want the $8 size or-or the 12? 268 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,881 - You decide. - Okay. 269 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,488 Hi. 270 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,024 What are you doing in this car? 271 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,026 Missing "Designing Women." 272 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,262 And for what? 273 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,897 What if Danny sees you? 274 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,331 Hey, I'm trapped here 275 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,201 so let's just make the best of it, okay? 276 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,436 You are gonna ruin everything. 277 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,938 What's to ruin? 278 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,339 We're sitting in a parking lot 279 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,809 listening to a movie. 280 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,643 This is a drive-in. 281 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,044 It's just like a regular movie 282 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:36,414 except you stay in your car. 283 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,184 Well, at least I can order food. 284 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:42,954 Yo, Jack! I'll have a burger and some fries. 285 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,722 That speaker is for the movie. 286 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,592 Oh, hey, can you roll "Animal House" 287 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,861 for the blue station wagon? 288 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:52,597 Get down, Danny's gonna be back any minute. 289 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:56,501 Well, then you might wanna take a look at chapter nine. 290 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,837 "Laying the trap." 291 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:02,640 I don't need your help, or Shelley's. 292 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,643 Do I have to remind you what you'd be doing tonight 293 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,613 if it weren't for our help? 294 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:09,514 What? 295 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,616 Do the words, "Go fish, Brian" 296 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,750 ring a bell? 297 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,820 [instrumental music] 298 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,992 Why is Lucky's water dish in the microwave? 299 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,527 ALF! 300 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,963 I already looked for ALF. I can't find him anywhere. 301 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:28,299 Well, did you check under our bed? 302 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,168 - Yup. - In the garage? 303 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,769 - Yup. - In the car? 304 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,838 - What car? - Our car. 305 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,807 Our car is gone. 306 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:39,510 Willie, Lynn took our car to the drive-in. 307 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,946 Oh, sure, she'll take ALF to the drive-in 308 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,781 but not me. 309 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:44,616 [doorbell dings] 310 00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,451 Kate, you answer the door. 311 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,020 I'll go to the drive-in and get ALF. 312 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,989 [gasping] I can't go to the drive-in 313 00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:53,224 Lynn's got the car! 314 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,692 You know, perhaps this isn't the best time 315 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,261 to raise this issue but I still think 316 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,463 we need a second car. 317 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,765 - Hi, Kate. - Oh, Trevor. 318 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,167 Trevor, could we borrow your car? 319 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,003 Whatever happened to, "Hi, neighbor, how are ya? 320 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,105 How was the hunting trip? Here's your mail?" 321 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,073 Oh, I'm-I'm sorry. 322 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,409 Hi, neighbor, how are ya? 323 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,677 How was your hunting trip? 324 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,013 Well, we left last Saturday. 325 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,848 And the first thing that happened was 326 00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:20,251 we pulled out of the driveway and got a flat tire. 327 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,121 Took Raquel a half hour to fix it. 328 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,455 Then everything was fine 329 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:27,125 until we get up around Big Pine. 330 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,260 We got onto Highway 190 331 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,195 and about 15 miles down the road 332 00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,598 we ran smack into a detour. 333 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,867 Right down a gravel road. 334 00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:39,237 - Your mail. - Oh, thanks. 335 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,039 Now, can we borrow your car? 336 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,408 Don't you wanna hear about the gravel road? 337 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,676 Not really. 338 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,445 I mean, I-I.. I'd-I'd love to 339 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,479 Trevor, but I gotta run. 340 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,348 I'm sure Kate would. 341 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:54,118 (Trevor) 'So anyway, we finally got back onto 190' 342 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,321 and got to this town Falstaff. 343 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,556 Hm, not even a souvenir shop. 344 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,992 No Stuckey's, no nothin'. 345 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,529 We ended up eating at this place called Food Here. 346 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:09,000 Not bad, but they didn't have any Sweet'N Low. 347 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:12,837 So, uh, you and L-Larry broke up, huh? 348 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,107 You mean L-Lloyd? 349 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,476 Oh, ye-yeah. 350 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,911 That's right. 351 00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,145 [tires squeal] 352 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,147 [siren wails] 353 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,489 Oh! Did I do that? 354 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,690 I don't think that you could have. 355 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,593 I must have. I'm always dropping things. 356 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,627 Well, it's okay. I'll just clean it all up. 357 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,830 No! I mean, leave it. 358 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,698 My father likes to clean out the car. 359 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,935 He-he got a Dustbuster for Father's Day. 360 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,069 Okay. 361 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,547 [choking] 362 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,417 [coughing] 363 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,785 Are you alright? 364 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,220 I'll let you know in a minute. 365 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,592 I'm okay. 366 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,826 [retching] 367 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,895 [coughing] 368 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,530 Actually, I could use a soft drink. 369 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,531 Oh, well-well, what kind? 370 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,533 [coughs] Root beer's fine. 371 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,302 Do-do you want the 7.50 size or the $10? 372 00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,505 [coughing] You decide. 373 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,844 You know I hate root beer. 374 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,813 Why are you ruining this date for me? 375 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,716 You call this a date? This isn't a date. 376 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,151 This is an oil painting. 377 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:36,287 I don't even know why you bothered to go. 378 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,855 Because some nosy alien 379 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,558 got me a date over the phone. 380 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,529 Nosy? Is that a snide snout remark? 381 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,131 Just forget it. 382 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,100 I wish this whole thing never happened. 383 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,536 Well, then, let's ditch this Danny dude 384 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,071 and hit the road. 385 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,839 - No. - Why? 386 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,042 Well, because it would be rude and.. 387 00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:01,179 ...and because he-he'd have to walk home. 388 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,680 And because... 389 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:05,716 Because you like him. 390 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:09,821 Well, yeah. I like him. 391 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:12,790 Ever since tenth grade. 392 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,826 But I'm not gonna tell him. 393 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,160 Why not? 394 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,162 Because I made that mistake with L-Lloyd 395 00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,330 and look what happened. 396 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,465 So what? 397 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,699 You think that's the only time 398 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,701 you're gonna get dumped? 399 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,670 Shelley says, "There's a broken light 400 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,872 for every heart on Broadway." 401 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:31,809 I am so tired of Shelley telling me what to do. 402 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,812 Lynn, this doesn't just come from Shelley. 403 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,748 It comes from the old ALFer. 404 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,385 Hey, you think I haven't had a few experiences 405 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,254 with the opposite sexes? 406 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,691 Have you ever had your heart broken? 407 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,292 Many times. 408 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:52,797 I was engaged to one woman for 58 years. 409 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,000 What was her name? 410 00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,102 Ruby. 411 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,204 So what happened to her? 412 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,206 She took her love to town. 413 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:06,177 Even though I said don't. 414 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,947 I'm sorry. 415 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:14,585 The very next day I met Rhonda at a pet bake. 416 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,388 And I thought, she's beautiful. 417 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,524 Boy, I want her. 418 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,126 But I was afraid I might get hurt again. 419 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,195 So what'd you do? 420 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,930 Well, I waited 17 years 421 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,032 then I asked her out. 422 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:33,271 The day after that, my planet exploded. 423 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,973 Seventeen years, wasted. 424 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,378 I understand, ALF. Thanks. 425 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,445 Oh, get down. Danny's coming. 426 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:42,914 Yeah, yeah. 427 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,420 I couldn't decide, so I, I got you both. 428 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,788 Thanks. 429 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,059 Danny.. 430 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,360 ...there's something I wanna tell you. 431 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:59,030 - What? You didn't want ice? - No, no. 432 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,499 Um.. 433 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,302 [sighs] Ever since tenth grade.. 434 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,239 Oh, yeah, old lady Cassidy's class. 435 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:12,143 Boy, I had such a crush on you. 436 00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:16,080 - You had a crush on me? - Yeah. 437 00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,282 Well, how come you never told me? 438 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,219 Well, I didn't want you to know that I liked you. 439 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,789 You know, that's the trouble with Earthlings. 440 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,658 I mean, people. 441 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,594 They never say what they mean. 442 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,996 If this planet were to explode tomorrow 443 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:35,366 just think of all the time we would have wasted. 444 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,301 Huh? 445 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,604 Never mind. 446 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,908 - I'm just happy you like me. - I like you a lot. 447 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,043 In fact, I paid Donnie to say that he was sick 448 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,045 so that I could go out with you. 449 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,381 - Really? - Yeah, really. 450 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,417 [chuckles] That's so cute. 451 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,857 Wait a minute, you bought me. 452 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,959 Twenty bucks and the use of my van for the night. 453 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,029 Plus, I had to reimburse them for the bowling shirts. 454 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,797 But, boy, you're worth it. 455 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,104 (Willie) 'Excuse me.' 456 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:18,075 Lynn, it's your dad. 457 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,447 - Dad! - Hi. 458 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,416 Hi, Lynn. Hi, Danny. 459 00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:26,617 Hi there, Mr. Tanner. 460 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,654 What a nice surprise. 461 00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:33,624 Uh, Lynn, uh, this is gonna sound strange 462 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,626 but, uh.. 463 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,595 ...your mother couldn't 464 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,864 go to sleep tonight.. 465 00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,732 ...because she didn't have 466 00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:44,035 that old orange blanket. 467 00:21:44,037 --> 00:21:47,571 You know that old, furry blanket 468 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:49,974 that's always getting lost. 469 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,544 Yeah, you know, I think it's right back there. 470 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:55,513 It.. 471 00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,948 It sure is. 472 00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:01,786 I'm just gonna, uh, grab it. 473 00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:03,587 And then I'm gonna be on my way. 474 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:04,989 - Okay. - You guys just go.. 475 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:08,826 Why don't you guys just go back and watch the movie? 476 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,695 Danny, what's happening now? 477 00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,263 Uh, Bronson just snuffed another guy 478 00:22:12,265 --> 00:22:16,233 because they gave him his steak well done. 479 00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,936 Okay, I got it. 480 00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:21,272 Yes, I do. Ugh. 481 00:22:21,274 --> 00:22:24,775 [grunting] I sure have got it. 482 00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,644 (Willie) 'Now, I'll be on my way.' 483 00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:27,845 Night, dad. 484 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:28,979 (ALF) 'Willie, can we stop 485 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,314 at the concession stand?' 486 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,349 No, we can't. 487 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,884 'The prices are very reasonable.' 488 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,361 [eerie music on TV] 489 00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:49,467 No, no! Don't open that door! 490 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,502 Oh, no! She opened the door! 491 00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:54,338 Yike-Er-Oni. 492 00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,874 What are you guys doing out here? 493 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,509 This is our drive-in theater. 494 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,511 Yeah, and you two snuck in. 495 00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,913 I'm calling the manager. 496 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,749 What are you watching anyway? 497 00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:06,650 Oh, "The Return of the Son of the Creature 498 00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:08,786 from the Big Black Bog." 499 00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:11,655 Starring Ronnie Schell. 500 00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:13,724 Would you mind if we join you? 501 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,494 Okay, but don't hog the popcorn. 502 00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:31,542 And don't fog up the windows back there. 503 00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,181 [theme music] 504 00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:05,209 [ALF laughing]